In Malays and any other races, I believe, a mother approval is the best of its kind. It sorts of represents a whole lot of aspect. A mothers eye scans deeper than the skin alone. A mothers nose sniffs and senses more than just any Escada Rockin’ Rio or Ibiza Hippie scent and a mother ear listens more than what spoken from the sweetly strawberry balm layered lips. In a nutshell, mother has the sharpest instinct, and when she says ‘No’, it really meant no.
21 years of living, 7 girls that I have met, 3 rejections, only one has been given approval from my mother. I guess its time to stop hunting for girls, since it would take another 21 years or so, for another approval.
While mothers instinct are more broadly covered. Boys, on the other hand, is more interested in physical. Things that can be looked touch and feasted .A B30 above is the minimal requirement. A mozzie bite breast would be a shame thing and would be lacking in feminity. A girl who donned those strangely-thin body-hugging one of a kind cloth material usually sold by Topshop which bottom reaches till the hips and follows the shapely curvature of the body. Fringe hairstyle which nearly render the covered eye useless. These descriptions are just something stated in general only. It does not apply to all. Every boy has got its taste, and their ‘radar’ has been programmed to detect and switch the alarm as the one fits is within range. Leukimias, petites, oily-skinny and look-alikes, those are the taste of my housemates that we intuitively know. Which one goes to whom? Try to mix and match.
Mothers, like CIA, are very very efficient data collectors. They monitor phone bills, they remember our demand for fuel allowance, they monitor our expenditure and yes, the read our body language. They start a blaze on our secret factory without starting a spark. They freeze our spine without apparatus of refrigeration. They crumble our egos without any dynamites. Making matters heavier, my mom is a fulltime housewife and I belonged to a small family. Even remaining tightly lipped about any relationship would be like burglars ransacking a mansion while CCTV providing live-feed to the police. They (parents) will be laughing their heart out looking at us acting like we had everything airtight, shut, lock and screwed.
I spoke to one of my college mate mother who admitted that she discovered about his son secret relationship within weeks. Also tending to 3 siblings of my friends while working to earn a living, she still managed to unearth children secrets. The ten million dollar question was: Did she approve his son secret relationship? Her answered: No.
“ I didn’t like the girl “ retelling the stories when the girl was first introduced to her. She was quickly to smell the pretentious body language of the girl of kissing both cheeks and hugging like mak datins meeting each other during an exclusive ball.
“ Not that I didn’t like kissing cheeks or whatsoever, but the way she speaks and looks at me shows that she is lugging my son around to nowhere. Her friendliness was rather unnatural just to ambil hati ( please )“, the 40 something mother spoke as I was served with chicken curry, freshly cooked white rice and a glass of chilled ( not iced ) syrup drink. Her son who is my friend is busy watching TV.
Until now, I ponder and tried to reason out that is it true mother read their son actions because sons inherit their dad attitude? Like the Malay proverb bapa borek anak rintik .
My mother many times objected to girls that I have introduced to her. Each objection were represented in many different ways. Sometimes without being told, my mother actions pretty much reflect her approval. Father, on the other hand remained at bay in this matter. The usual bona-fide secretive nature of most dad. Mother approach is rather diplomatic and can be further discussed and question, rather than dad which are strictly prohibitive in questioning it while remaining affirmative.
God willing, the relationship lasts less than 5 months. Mothers advice are like prophecies or sort of Madam Zorra predictions; they foresee young girls as simple like looking into a magic glass globe. Once said, it was never taken back. My friend ex-girlfriend started showing early symptoms of break-up with lessened SMS and repeated crying. It all ended on the 11th hour before my friend took his SPM examination; a major examination. Finally, he started to recuperate and recover to begin life as usual. A lesson to be learn by him, since then, every girl he met is quickly being introduced to his mom for sort of ‘evaluation’
Maternal, Parental intervention in personal relationship can sound a bit childish and absurd. We all have grown-up a lot, and has managed a lot of things by ourselves. Furthermore, a male college student sticking to a mother’s advice may qualify us, me or you as a mama’s boy whom rather walks around under mothers’ armpit. A shameful act, and unuttered childishness. Whatever the slang these people give to us, we are no emulated notorious American kids’ Converse shoes-donning washed-out shirt wearing which originates from defunct families. We have eastern values that don’t make us look any inferior/absurd/lack-of-life/un-glamour than any of the liberated western teens. Getting regular advice are signs of a functioning family.
In my religion itself, it was told that a son can possibly give higher attention to a mother than a father. It’s a Normality. So, the next time I hang out with my friends, I should have a second thought of assuming: “ Bawa jumpa emak, emak mesti sayang ni… “
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