Now, it has been half-a-decade since valentine passed without a date for me, guess, it a no luck. Lets just say that along the five years, my happy times were never to survived nor sparkled during valentine. It either flickered out before the day or just beginning to flicker months after it. Well, don’t bother about that. Its part of history which cannot be reinvented in any way or so. For me, I’d just in signify the day like any other day, which would just pass by and remained a number amongst the 28-odd days of February. You know that when someone in love; everyday is a lovely day.
Talking about valentine, one thing that crossed most minds would be couplehood. Some may argue that valentine is not only celebrated by those in relationship. True. But, most won’t deny that valentine is more inclined towards couples.
“Jom kita couple “, I still remembered those words uttered by my classmate in 2000. I was a form1 kid. I was very confused at the time. Of course, I had admitted that I like the girl, and the girl likes me too. Every night after fardhu ain classes, without fail, we phoned each other… but what is couple? Everything is fine, why do we need this ‘couple’ thing?.
“ Apa itu couple? “ I asked curiously. She explained it, and I have inherited her definition of couplehood. Its like an upgrade to just knowing that we liked each other. It’s like another new level. Day to day, I slowly learned about this couple thing. Yup, eight years have passed, seems like I will never graduate the couple101 thing.
Coupling. In detail which we find comfort, connection and chemistry from someone of different sex. We then, seek them and enjoyed their courtship and presence. We moved along the days of our life with them, and they really leave a significant mark in our path. Well, along the path. Like walking on snow, if our footsteps were never to disappear, we could see a smaller shoeprint that has walked along ours. Come to one point, the shoeprint would just diverge its way, and we would be on our way walking solo again.
Some may picture love as a bug which bites us. While love may be a type of disease, laden on the pointing edge of arrows launched by the cupid. Some experienced love as a type of intoxification. An anomaly which struck our mind. Like a blood clot in the brain. Hemorrhage which bugged us to keep thinking about that someone. And the list goes on and shall eats up the blog. Well, this piece of blog would not hoist the sorrow story of a lovelorn people or how pathetic lifeless it could be without it.
The foundation of couplehood is understanding. Let’s just say understanding is equal to compromise. We relentlessly trust the other party in the hope that the other may make room for our weaknesses. To discreetly ignore the weaknesses we had. Understanding also can be deemed as liability. Since coupling-up is based on the principle of sharing, then, both of the party has to bare the liability of each other personal problem ( some to the extent of sharing the burden of family problems ), which some of us may just go Urgh!
( Understanding = compromise = liability = burden )
Such a negative minded person would similarizing understanding to compromise. But, we remained flawed in such ways which deemed us unable to do certain things. Yet, trusting our partner, the matter were virtually kept silenced in an airtight container. Come to one point which it may burst/explode/all-hell-broke-loose which can be seen when a couple entered a syariah court to demand separation, all these dirty little secrets were poured out, so the lawyers can establish a ground to validate the cerai ( separation ). Yet couplehood is still too far from the watchful eyes of law. Absolutely, there is no order in coupling. Any unfaithfulness goes without punishment. Any ‘love-you-forever’ promises were mere vows that would just disappear into the atmosphere.
After observing this painful couplehood burden-sharing, and the lawlessness of being in love, I wonder why the heck people willing to put themselves into the scrutiny of coupling? There are people who swear to god never again to be in love, yet, were slippery enough to hold firm the promises and do fall in love again?. There’s got to be any advantage to be gained rather than enduring endless trouble and headache ( followed by swallowing of Ponstan ) . Perhaps it’s a twist in human behavior which made them break the promises, in which the idea of ‘walled garden’ is has clouded the schism of couplehood.
‘Walled garden’ is a name given to this thought that has been running through my minds for the last few weeks. I don’t really give a thought on petty matters, but this thing does capture my attention since it has roots in my attempt to ‘retool and glasnost-ing’ myself. I must admit, that we all have this teenage-to-adulthood transition problem. In which, if we could chart our life on a graph – Its obviously going downwards.
The term of ‘walled garden’ is purely inspired by Telco’s stratagem who wanted to attract possible customers. In Malaysia, we have three major telcos; Celcom, Digi and Maxis. These telcos offered attractive packages and deals to attract customers. From yellow rubber suited man who stalked us virtually everywhere, to supersavers plan which made our eye looks sleepless when attending early morning lecture. All seems attractive, when in fact, there are lots of strings attached. Those includes cheaper rates for same operator calls, data which are inoperable/in transferable on to other networks and contracts which may spanned for years. Remember, when we used to only able send message to similar prefix numbers? In a nutshell, walled garden is literally offering something a sort of freedom within a certain confinement.
Men offered or promises great things, either spoken or unspoken. They do wonders with their ability or talent. Some did their careful homework and assimilate themselves to personify the dreamguy of the studied girl. This is because timba cari perigi, where the girl holds the decision-making card. It’s natural law, or basic instinct, which the male would wanted to show they are far more supreme than the rest. The female obviously would like to be with the best. Just like when we were in the process of choosing Telco’s which can offer wonderful packages or deals. Girls do compare and settle for something that suite them best.
‘Walled garden’ shall be filled with beautiful flowers, water lilies and plenty of helicornias and everything pretty. And yes, we put our heartrobe inside so she could innocently roam around and further lushes the floras there if she wanted to. Guys knew that a girl sometimes needs to be treated like a princess whenever is possible. In any such way, magnitude, or method we persevere to do that. Generously, we even include a garden to pair up with the princess. Yet, bare in mind, its walled. So, there is a restricted freedom in which how far she could roam.
In real world, where the is a presence of fear in every men, which never really expect, but, does anticipate for a worst case scenario of their girlfriend being snatched (worst, bedeviled ), the principle of ‘walled garden’ may be applied. Whatever way they does it or whichever name they call it, there is no doubt, walled garden is invisibly present to get the situation in control. Control, on the other hand, is among a hideous word. When we do our work, control from other people is the least thing we wanted. Control is an obstruction. We don’t want too many controlled aspect in our life . People who exercises control defended their action by calling it a discipline, a rule or a priority. Take a look at the Commie China which imposed control over the internet content. Any blogs, videos or wikis which were against ( or subversive ) the communism ideology will be phased out.
Control is the worst thing to describe the ‘walled garden’, yet, its also the basis of it. Its for guys to exercise control over the relationship. The water lilies, Helicornias and bougavillas mentioned earlier were the treats that we give to our girlfriends, like presents, box of chocolates and jewelries ( if can afford…) . Girls are getting exceptionally clever to not blindly fall for boys that is macho. As the saying goes; style without substance is absolutely nothing. It’s the ‘walled garden’ offerings that attracted them. It’s the extravagant offering of the ‘walled garden’ that has shrouded the excruciating pain of couplehood and its tonnes of compromises. Like Telcos highlighting their offerings while showing their terms and conditions in microscopic size. That is why; we wondered why some of less-pleasantly eye-sore zombie looking guys can have a stunning hot and sweet girlfriend. It’s the walled garden offerings which hold the secret. What is the secret?
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