Part 2 - Visionary Cronies

What will you do if you were involved in an accident along the ever-hectic LDP highway?

To be precise, the accident took place on the wee hours of the morning rush or the time when the blue collars were getting home after a stressful day. Of course, you will be making a scene which passer-by will slow down and gaze at you like you’re a gazelle in a zoo. Also, you’re not hitting any dumb concrete wall but another person car, and worst both cars had to be towed away.

I bet you will call your friends which were staying near-by which is proven to be useful to help you deal with the situation too.

Maybe this is naïve perception, but wouldn't this type of actions done by politicians too. What I’am implying here is that when politician were in the need to execute a development task or required some sort of detailed suggestion, they will call forth their cronies in order to get the job done. This is because; they are the ones familiar with these type of particular tasks. An instrument. PM knew their effectiveness and as well their ability to execute something. Without doubt, in modern world where people seek to gain easy money by cheating, back-stabbing or blackmailing; it is important to seek help from the people we trust. Just as if we were involved in an accident along LDP.

Back in the days when Dr. Mahathir was in the helm of government, people were making noises about his cronies’ policy. People thought that he is giving away easy money to these corporate people in return of sure win for the election run. Big names such as Robert Kwok, Syed Al-Bukhary and Tun Daim Zainuddin were the ones which are deemed as Mahathir’s tightest cronies. Well, IMHO, Tun himself cannot single handedly run a country and achieve what has credited to him today. The title of Bapa Pembangunan wouldn’t be there not because a set of cronies that Dr. Mahathir had.

Not to over-exaggerate the person that I admired, but Tun has utilized his cronies like a magician with its sparkling magic wand. With a neat black coat, clean white shirt underneath and red bow clinging near the neck, he cast a magic which spurned KLCC, Formula 1 tracks, KLIA and MSC which alluded our view from seeing the dark and ugly side of politics. Of course, Mahathir had to intervene lots of things which can be morally questionable. But we were filled with joy and pride. Marvel at these stuff. The love of our nation and the ‘Malaysia Boleh!’ slogan lauded here and there without stopping for bereavement. We were given a slice of paradise of what it could be amongst the best and well respected nation in the region perhaps the world.

But, not all of Mahathir cronies are good in executing his Wawasan 2020 notion. Eric Chua nearly crippled Perwaja steel. Our main steel processing company. We could just sell iron-ore to the mat-sallehs and get easy money, but what Perwaja did is turning these iron-ore into a value added products which sells at higher price. ( Just like we heard Singapore buying our kayu balak and made it into furniture and selling it back to us ). Venturing into steel industry needed real lots of money. We had to borrow from the Japanese (with interest, of course) to purchase those ore smelting machinery which costs bajillion of dollars. Perwaja , although, not reaching the magnitude of success brought by Petronas or Proton, still managed to create jobs and spurned a lot of Datuk Sris and orang kayas which daughter or son can have their own sports car and may be speeding off the LDP in their overgrown Gucci/DKNY/Guess/Ray-ban shades.

Bakun is one of the flopped Megaprojects which has turned into miniproject. Used to be one of possible largest dam in the world which may empower the whole Malaysia, including each pengkikir kelapa in Perlis till the disco lights bulbs of Johor ( possibly selling some AC/DC to Indonesia ). It has downgraded to supply hydroelectric to Borneo and later only to Sarawak needs. Who could guess which cropped area shall only benefit by Bakun next? Pity whoever Mahathirs’ crony handling this project. It was economic recession by then when this project began to stall and stun. Cough, cough and fell coma.

Today, no doubt, anyone who becomes the prime minister has a set-of-cronies in order to execute some significant task which requires lots of multi-spectral co-operation to be done smoothly and in controversially. Like the Kedahan famous utterance of: “ Buat bagi jadi, cukup “ ( Make it done, shall be enough ). A prime minister may get green-light from the cabinet. Total nod from the public but without cronies that are capable, thoughtful and daring, efforts can proved to be futile. All politicians with their agendas shall have cronies, if not; all their vowed promises during ceramahs and manifestos could be nothing but hot air.

Now, Malaysia has been experiencing what I called the lackluster in physical and economic development. Of course, when asked, Pak Lah cleverly answered that he is focusing on human development and capital. He ascertained that they should not be first class magnanimous futuristic city like Putrajaya and Cyberjaya filled with its citizen still chomping bubble gum and spitting it on the bus-stop waiting chair. As the saying goes: Third-class mentality, first class facility. He lauded to eradicate this third class mentality.

Still, after years, we could see the third class mentality is still very much alive. While our eyes were focused and hungry towards change, a good disease which Mahathir bought ( remember when we waited patiently for the Twin-Tower to finish to claim the highest tower and countdown to Commonwealth? ), now our eyes are definitely accustomed to see what changes brought by Pak Lah as PM. Have you seen anything yet? Perhaps we should give Pak Lah another 18 years, by then, it all will be visible.

Perhaps, the Pak Lahs’ sets-of-cronies really lacked in vision. They never envisioned anything great or fantastic as Mahathir cronies had. Yet, easy money were still given out to them ( thus, may bankrupt the nation as well ). Malays which were considered as privileged and given some perks had to fight amongst Malay to decide whoever deserved the perks. That’s ugly and sounded childish. Sometimes, it made me think that are Pak Lah cronies are those people that lepak at the kedai kopi and bragged about how Pak Lah should deservedly nominated as Bapa Pembangunan Modal Insan ?. Later, heed off with his BMW X5/Harrier/Muranos/Q7 to brag about the same matter to different kampungs.

Its not that difficult to imagine what type of Pak Lah cronies are. Clearly, we see KJ lauding the Mat Rempits as Mat Cemerlang. In his exhaustive effort to rebrand them by endorsing their polar jump,then Pak Lah seeks his advice. I guess by now, you’ll know what type of Pak Lah cronies are. If there is a Harvard educated Malay put side-by-side with a selekeh Malay with 4Mbps broadband connection with ‘people of higher-places’, the latter may be richer than the first. Plus, how often heavy crime occurred lately?

Oh well, if Malaysian were addicted to new and visible development, I guess Tun Dr. Mahathir shall be fully blamed for bringing this ‘bad’ habit to Malaysian citizen. But again, Tun was blamed for the wrong thing: He was blamed to strain the Malaysian budget with his Mejaprojects which costs Bajillion ringgits which restricted physical development today. A legacy problem.

The prospect BN will win a majority in coming election is somewhat there. But, granted, if Pak Lah wins another mandate as PM. Please, get some visionary cronies.

Finally, I would like to apologize if my definition of cronies are too shallow or sounded naïve. And apologies to those overgrown shades owners and BMW X5/Murano/Q7 owners. I wasn’t implying you to those mentioned above people, just a dramatized exemplary.

Part 1 - PAS for Kedah

Its not hard to imagine…

This state has been second strong bastion of PAS after Kelantan. Some of strong PAS hardliners, old-timers and outshiners has been contesting in Kedah for some reason. Perhaps being part of the Malay-belt states proven to be the playing grounds of the Islamic-centric party itself. The numbers of parliamentary seats here are even more than that of Kelantan ( 14 seats ) or Terengganu ( 8 seats ) which are more vast in-terms of geographical area.

The prospect of Kedah under PAS is not to be clearly seen. Perhaps we can expect the normal thing they would do such as segregated male-female counters, gender-separated stadiums, no-da-ma-cai, moral police force and no-more-concerts ( come to an extent Mawi-only concert ). The presence of PAS in Kedah is very strong and clear. Each election season, tall poles were placed in the kampungs, masjids, madrasah and even pecan kecil’s. Come to a point, a rock hill was carved with PAS insignia, the locals called it bukit PAS. The ceramahs were running all year round even not during the election season. They will always be somebody from the party which will deliver speech brewing with hottest political issue and offering a vivid picture of the paddy state if it falls under PAS rule. The people will be roaring and shouting with agreement which made you felt like its election time. Mind you, clapping is forbidden in Islamic-related event. Since PAS is tightly synonymous with Islam, so no clapping on its occasion.

Now, that the election fever has swarmed, PAS shall be gearing up its preparation for the tip of the battle. PAS has sets its target to maintain Kelantan, re-take Terengganu ( which was lost in 2004) and takeover Kedah. A realistic aim since the former two states has been successfully held by them before. The aim can be lots more possible, since its been in the air lately that the ruling party under Pak Lah has been too sloppy and lackluster in economic development. Yet, this doubt cannot fuel the possibility of handling over Kedah to PAS. Malay is an ethnic that has loyalty as its fundamental values, which cannot be swayed easily by fiery speech of political wisdom. So, this makes the battle for Kedah interesting and dangle the hope to 50/50 between the ethno-centric UMNO and Islamic-centric PAS

PAS on-going effort to take over Kedah has been furious and real. Not only the political rally were enormous, not just the gathering were always held and thousand of PAS flag waving under the Kedahan sunrise, but the candidate being put here are among the top guns. Like nuclear bombs to an arsenal of weapons. The harshest and the hardheads were put forth. Looking at previous elections, We can see PAS putting our sasterawan Shahnon Ahmad ( who wrote the novel SHIT, and sparkled my interest in Malay literature ) contesting for his birthplace of Sik. PAS own ketua penerangan ( ala propaganda minister ), Mahfuz Omar were put to contest in Pokok Sena. PAS late president, Ustaz Fadzil Noor was contesting in Anak Bukit ( a royal place of Kedah, it’s where the istana is located- do you think the Sultan favored PAS ? ), his successor maintained the seat. The vocal Mat Sabu who was captured and questioned during Bersih rally were contesting in Kuala Kedah, the place where you get your boats to Langkawi for your joyous trip.

Do not forget, even KeAdilan has placed its number two ( the vice-president ) to contest in Kubang Rotan pitting against Syed Razak Syed Zain. The list goes on as PAS own vice-president ‘hip-hopping’ Nasharudin Mat Isa is fixing its bayonet to get the Jerai seat. Only Karpal Singh of DAP is being calculative about taking risk here. Do note that Karpal Singh once contested in the Kota Setar seat and lost (1969 perhaps? ). Maybe the 12^th election his return to Kedah? The heavy gunners of every party has sets its sight on an alliance to rule Kedah, yet, so far the possibility laid on these two party: UMNO and PAS.

News had come that Mukhriz Mahathir will be contesting the parliamentary seat of Jerlun in the upcoming election. It’s his first foray or muka baru. The fact that he is Tun Dr. Mahathir son would not guarantee his winning. But, I do wish him luck. Ironically, Jerlun is Kubang Pasu neighbor on the west. Kubang Pasu is where his father contested before.

The closest PAS went to rule Kedah was in 1999, when the Reformasi issue was still as hot as rotiboy. Yet, as long as PAS have not laid its hands on Kedah, the incumbent majority seat holders will never learn its mistake, becomes too comfortable, forgotten to improvise the way that they should serve the people here. And, perhaps we should reconsider the vote that shall be cast in the upcoming election. Look at Terengganu which falls under PAS rule in 1999 election. In the next election 2004, BN has re-taken the state and look what Idris Jusoh has done within a single 5-year ( actually less ) mandate. Something real has taken place there.

Perhaps we should see Kedah falls under PAS for a short while. A term or two till the BN sides might formulate working manifestos that may satisfy the Kedahan hunger for something real and progressive.

The Mandatory

The car cabin has been among the most fabulous spot to snap a self portrait. Yes, you may get the picture by this moment. Frankly, not a lot of pose can be made inside the crammed cockpit of a vehicle. Neither not much of a catwalk runways on the other three seats ( or five seats for MPVs) , plus, there are limited backgrounds. yet, youngsters do love to self-potrait themselves on these type of situation. Do make a new tab for the social utility profile and browse the list of your friends which may have feature these type of profile pics. I bet, you will instantly find them. If I ‘am lucky, you might be the one I’m telling. And yes, I do it too.

Cars during the pre-independence Kedah were like Ferraris in sub-urbans. In places like Jitra, Kodiang, Sik and Changlun which tarred road were virtually unnecessary for that time, having a four wheeled motor vehicle roaring on the small pathway on the vast flatlands carpeted with paddy field were like being the most privileged and only the rich and royalties could afford such a fancy item. My dad said only district officers who have the chance to put their shoe sole on the pedal.

Allah blesses Malaysia. Over 50 years of independence, we have improved the life quality of the citizens. The once superior mat sallehs were shocked to see little, dark Asian men from Malaysia purchased their heavy weight companies such as Sime Darby, Guthrie and Boustead. Years after that we went on to create motor company like Proton and Perodua. Now vehicles has become somewhat affordable. The image of car as something that can only be owned by the rich has been shed away. Having a car is no more a status index for the society. Kids nowadays ( excluding mat rempits ) used motor vehicles as play items nowadays, with minor non-life-threatening accidents were made as a blog entry with a humor tone accompanied with plenty LOL’s.

Cars has became sort of hobby item nowadays which is being purchase without a long, deep and calculative considerations. Sometimes, a single visit to the car dealer, a purchase was made. Once I read in a newspaper in which a women visits a car showroom with her aunt on some lazy weekend drive around in the city. She saw a Peugeot 206 and fell in love with it, so she immediately booked a piece of it. Later, the aunt couldn’t agree more and placed a book too. Is that a coincidence!? Buying a car has become similar to going to pasar tani.

A plethora of vehicle available here not only varies in colours, litres and options. There are subcategories such as B-Segment, C-Segments and the list goes on. There are 7-Seaters or MPVs like Naza Ria to carry children to school. Compacts for young people ( which is also a great fuel savers and parking swifters ), sedans like the Camry/Accord for medium families, Pick-ups for rough-rider workaholics who think their vehicle looks smarter with the spud, wet-soil spots. SUV for frequent traveler. Most of all, my favourite, is a van; like Proton Juara, a champion in all dimension ( if u start giggling, you should know my intimate affair with Juara ). Each Malaysian family either has either combination of these or two of the same kind. Depends on whichever that could cater their needs best.

If you are living in a housing estate, take a jog around the neighbourhood. It has been a common sight where a house spots multiple vehicle. And, perhaps, you may stumble vehicles that were parked on the side of the road. On the end-lots. Near the communal field, on the field, on the badminton court of the field, near the fire hydrant, under a huge perbandaran-planted trees and so on. Not that the car owners were trying to flaunt their expensive vehicle to the public, but it’s the limited parking space offered by the developers which hinders the car to be parked within the housing compound.

Housing developers nowadays should be generous enough to provide parking space for at least two vehicle. Whichever way, parked side by side or bumper to bumper, the ample space shall give less headache towards the owner. Instead of boasting about having air-conditioner pre-installed or whatever club house facilities provided for a minimal fee whatsoever, the rising number of vehicle in Malaysia should not be taken lightly.

Yet, people still purchase houses with limited parking space due to the scarse availability of homes in town areas. Take a look in PJ, where property appreciation is on high. Any township there thrive like beans on wet towels. And properties were selling like hot cakes or hot rotiboy. Citizens just bought the properties due to accessibility that were provided ( close to highways, close to office and hypermarkets etc. etc. ) and had to settle for single-car parking bay houses.

Developers, perhaps, knew this. The selling factor for their products were the strategically located area. They, tends to outstretch the numbers of houses that could possibly be constructed on a single hectare. The more, the merrier. It all boils down to businesslah. Don’t mind if the parking bay may only fit a single car. Perhaps they might regard a car as a kancil so they can gain more lands and reduce the length.

But sometimes, it all boils down to a small favor of social responsibility in which some developer successfully in doing it. No matter how high the sales may yield, this type of developers seems to understand the situation and decided to include an ample parking space for future-homeowners. They put it in their pamphlets as an attraction which could be a possible sale earner. Or perhaps, they should not boast it after all. It all comes standard to all house models. No matter it’s a low-end model or elite model.

Since multiple car have become some sort of standard to every household in Malaysia, then housing law should make it mandatory for developers to include at least a two car parking bay allowance. By then, although not solely ( as some may argue to this suggestion ), problems such as stolen vehicle, vandalized vehicle, vehicle break-ins and stolen tyres shall be eradicated or reduced. And I shall jog in almost vehicle-free road.

Part 2 : Oh well, Walled Garden

The concept of ‘walled garden’ do extent beyond diamond, heels, handbags, overgrown shades and rings. And, material girl are easy to sniff. Put them in a six-week budget stint, and they flee like mosquito on Ridsect or mortein. Gold digger wouldn’t want to waste a single second of their ‘fabulous-young-age’ to poor budget-conscious guys. My mom was shocked to hear this: If you wanted to lead a happy marriage, put her on six MONTHS budget stint… six WEEKS is not enough!!! Mom’s advice is never taken lightly. She was the one who kept giving spirit to my dad when he was left jobless for almost a year during the Asian Economic Crisis in late 1997. My mom is a champion in surviving budget stint proposed by my dad. I was the one complaining why I kept getting lesser school allowance during the time.

Now, Malaysian economy has been in much better shape with rising per-capita and steady incomes. And artists in Malaysia never had to open celebrity corners anymore. They can lead their lavish life. Even normal people like you and me can have a lavish type-of-life. Do note, It’s the type of life that the guys live does influence the decision making process of the fairer sex when there are a few candidates. Having a jet-set life may make a boom which the girls might brag over to her friends and awe in fascination. The ooos… and ahhhs… accompanied with the human nature which envy and would want to have the privilege too. Especially young girls, they are restless. I used to remember in 2001 when hip-hop was as hot as newly baked rotiboy breads; all young people love this stuff. They’re the rising phenomenon. The in-thing. They wanted to be associated to it. And my incumbent girlfriend ( the one who taught me the meaning of couple ) also changed side choosing a B-boy she met during a hip-hop gala. One of my closest friends, a fellow Klub Solo, had his girlfriend ‘snatched’ by a skater boy in 2003, when this BMX-ing and skating were considered the uber-coolnesses of the time. There was nothing to take avenge. Obviously, this is no real person that whispers into their ear to abandon the relationship. With whom do we declare war? No, we can’t declare war with skating nor hip-hop, it’s a far too stupid decision to consider that which are far collectively superior. We are standing under the shadows of giant which outshines us a thousand times brighter. Simply said, young hearts are harder to contain.

“ If you can’t beat them, join them “

Culture - Yes, its actually possible to just simply go with the flow without fuss. We were in the late-teens, so should we act like one and do whatever teen does. Like a Malay word; lalang, referring to a tall grass plant which bends towards whichever direction the wind flows. Ironically, In those times, kids were more likely to be praise for following the flow rather than holding firm to be oneself. We could witness these phenomenon were rather ‘disposable’, starting with pop bandboy-ing, hip-hopping, skating, emo-ing, now, probably shuffling which will follow suit and dies off followed by other trends. As the loop continues, come to a point, which we felt that there are more important persuasion in life, and we tends to forget these jugular, and asked ourselves; boy, have I grown up?

What kind of control when virtually any person with modern broadband could just flirt on the vast social utility websites being offered by various sites. With SMS were given away free-of-charge like hacks sweet in restaurants. Forget social utility sites, how about the daily things that we did. The classic way of meeting people face-to-face through daily routine of going to shop, barber, sundry etc. etc.? The working environment such as classrooms, lecture class, tuition class, whatever class there is available? Definitely, there is no control over what, when, or will things around our girlfriend occurs.

Well-Connected - I speculated that guys with such a humongous contacts and huge network shall bring some fascination to girls. Someone which brings their girlfriend to certain function/events and has always, without failure find seats and audience to speak to, may seen as an impressive social network which the girl proud to belong to. The ‘walled garden’ may include making the girl as ‘angel of the society’, thrusts her into a situation where all eyes and ears were also onto her. Once again, she needs to feel like a princess at some point. Men can virtually cater that. Lessening the burden of the guy while he can spend time with his friends and mend other matters. This limelight given, made some sort of social enclave ( clique or call it whatever you want ) which seems like a presence of ‘army’ that watches the movement and interaction of the girl itself. Of course, faithfulness comes from feelings ingenuity, not enforced through these so-called social enclaves. While it may instill the seeds of fear, it may also gives the feeling of pride.

Move-to-the-groove - Last but not least, mobility. In a nation where car per citizen ratios are 3:4, it is slowly becoming a necessity that girl demanded/open-eyes/require/expect someone that has a vehicle to ease their daily mutual activities. Again, no girl would just speak out loud saying that car-less guys are just a poor prick risking herself to be labeled as material bitch. In contrast, some situation deem this as a stupid action for mobile-less men keep his eyes on a city-girl. Frankly speaking, I regard myself as a kampong boy. And I admit I do not have ample time to study city-girl body-lingos, taboos and secret chick language/protocols/signs/rules/law whatever thats featured in whichever magazine in guiding us to a perfect date. My words, too much data input shall jam a computer. Magazine tips shall confuse me, which shall overcloud my true nature.Again, style without substance is just plainly useless. Above all, it goes without saying.

Second-life - Of course, if a girl does not have a life outside their men, this is considered dangerous and pathetic to them. They will start getting clingy to their boyfriend just like some soap operas which the girl had nothing to do but coiled beside their boyfriend 24/7. A second-life on the other hand may be a nuisance since it may pass-on words which may be unpleasant to our ear. Hate it or love it, It will never cease to exist. Like an air-bag to slow down the impact of break-ups ( or penicillin for some bacterial infection ) , the ‘life-outside-men’ is vital to most girl. It’s a life outside the walled garden itself, which, could be much better or much worst. Of course, guys would like to score the latter one. Like a mother who effortlessly reminded their little child that the world outside home is savage and dangerous, yet, still allowed them to go out and mingle.

Finally, there may be a girl who implement walled garden onto their boyfriend. Perhaps simultaneously implement such things on each other. Girls who had more advantage and superiority than their boyfriend, no denying, it does occur. Its like perigi cari timba, which the girl who seek the boy. Its quite remote, rare, or in other sense; niche occurrence.Yet, visible.

Married couple such as parents do not have these ‘walled garden’ rule since marriage is something which is covered by law and religion. And marriage are bond that has been tested through high’s and lows for years. The Malaysian army for instance ( Tentera Darat as I’m clearly known ), has set of mandatory rules which pretty much discourage separation. The soldier who does separate from his wife has to give a certain cut ( 20% perhaps ) off his wage to be contributed to the ex-wife. Which for me, is a good way to tackle marriage problems by allowing both parties remained closely and communicate more to sort out the situation. Above all, this in-direct intervention helped couples to reconcile without third-party direct intervention.

Sympatique Tactic - Third party intervention is not necessarily a good thing. Everybody generally knows the ‘Sympatique Tactic’ in which either boy or girl frantically channeled their bad relationship story someone. With no clear intention ( while smartly blamed that love is blind ), they expect the listening end would eventually sympathize and love them leaving the current problematic relationship to wreck and rot. On the receiving end (especially boys), it’s a great opportunity to snatch a girl and stage a Coup d'état ( a hostile takeover ). Another possibility, they can be the ‘steroid’ for those weak-hearted which goes to cardiac-arrest and panic in the face of minor relationship problems. Trust me, it’s a frustration to have partner which knee-jerkly seek 3^rd party help out of minor problems.

Most people probably say: I’ am probably too bugged with these type of hectic problems, and he could not carry on and enjoy life ( any nodding heads? ). Its been a long way to go before a serious consideration, and eight years has been a very long time. There are lots thing to fix within myself. Virtually, I’m unable to offer a lavish ‘walled garden’ yet that may bring those ‘ooosss…’ and ‘ahhhss…’. Couple101 is a simple little-credit-hour subject to execute, yet, looking at the big picture, it has an intricate links with life, background, experience, family, culture and our pasts.

Once again, ‘walled garden’ is self-explanatory; it’s a way of striking a balance between freedom and control. Even the term walled garden may not be standard, yet, this ‘invisible rule’ happens to be everywhere and anywhere. Vows may be easily said, promises simply made and i-love-you’s are countless, still, do we believe that faithfulness comes out of osmosis without a force that regulates it?

( Faithfulness = Style + Substance )

To top it off, ever heard the stories of walled garden that is soo beautiful, bountiful and enormous, that it need no promotion, instead, surrounded with long ques? Yes, walled garden were mend to limit the movement of the people inside it, but there are stories of ‘walled gardens’ which were made to fend outside people from entering it…

Apologize to all people and to myself, probably, some of the remarks above has gone overboard.

Part 1 : Comfort, Connection and Chemistry

Now, it has been half-a-decade since valentine passed without a date for me, guess, it a no luck. Lets just say that along the five years, my happy times were never to survived nor sparkled during valentine. It either flickered out before the day or just beginning to flicker months after it. Well, don’t bother about that. Its part of history which cannot be reinvented in any way or so. For me, I’d just in signify the day like any other day, which would just pass by and remained a number amongst the 28-odd days of February. You know that when someone in love; everyday is a lovely day.

Talking about valentine, one thing that crossed most minds would be couplehood. Some may argue that valentine is not only celebrated by those in relationship. True. But, most won’t deny that valentine is more inclined towards couples.

“Jom kita couple “, I still remembered those words uttered by my classmate in 2000. I was a form1 kid. I was very confused at the time. Of course, I had admitted that I like the girl, and the girl likes me too. Every night after fardhu ain classes, without fail, we phoned each other… but what is couple? Everything is fine, why do we need this ‘couple’ thing?.

“ Apa itu couple? “ I asked curiously. She explained it, and I have inherited her definition of couplehood. Its like an upgrade to just knowing that we liked each other. It’s like another new level. Day to day, I slowly learned about this couple thing. Yup, eight years have passed, seems like I will never graduate the couple101 thing.

Coupling. In detail which we find comfort, connection and chemistry from someone of different sex. We then, seek them and enjoyed their courtship and presence. We moved along the days of our life with them, and they really leave a significant mark in our path. Well, along the path. Like walking on snow, if our footsteps were never to disappear, we could see a smaller shoeprint that has walked along ours. Come to one point, the shoeprint would just diverge its way, and we would be on our way walking solo again.

Some may picture love as a bug which bites us. While love may be a type of disease, laden on the pointing edge of arrows launched by the cupid. Some experienced love as a type of intoxification. An anomaly which struck our mind. Like a blood clot in the brain. Hemorrhage which bugged us to keep thinking about that someone. And the list goes on and shall eats up the blog. Well, this piece of blog would not hoist the sorrow story of a lovelorn people or how pathetic lifeless it could be without it.

The foundation of couplehood is understanding. Let’s just say understanding is equal to compromise. We relentlessly trust the other party in the hope that the other may make room for our weaknesses. To discreetly ignore the weaknesses we had. Understanding also can be deemed as liability. Since coupling-up is based on the principle of sharing, then, both of the party has to bare the liability of each other personal problem ( some to the extent of sharing the burden of family problems ), which some of us may just go Urgh!

( Understanding = compromise = liability = burden )

Such a negative minded person would similarizing understanding to compromise. But, we remained flawed in such ways which deemed us unable to do certain things. Yet, trusting our partner, the matter were virtually kept silenced in an airtight container. Come to one point which it may burst/explode/all-hell-broke-loose which can be seen when a couple entered a syariah court to demand separation, all these dirty little secrets were poured out, so the lawyers can establish a ground to validate the cerai ( separation ). Yet couplehood is still too far from the watchful eyes of law. Absolutely, there is no order in coupling. Any unfaithfulness goes without punishment. Any ‘love-you-forever’ promises were mere vows that would just disappear into the atmosphere.

After observing this painful couplehood burden-sharing, and the lawlessness of being in love, I wonder why the heck people willing to put themselves into the scrutiny of coupling? There are people who swear to god never again to be in love, yet, were slippery enough to hold firm the promises and do fall in love again?. There’s got to be any advantage to be gained rather than enduring endless trouble and headache ( followed by swallowing of Ponstan ) . Perhaps it’s a twist in human behavior which made them break the promises, in which the idea of ‘walled garden’ is has clouded the schism of couplehood.

‘Walled garden’ is a name given to this thought that has been running through my minds for the last few weeks. I don’t really give a thought on petty matters, but this thing does capture my attention since it has roots in my attempt to ‘retool and glasnost-ing’ myself. I must admit, that we all have this teenage-to-adulthood transition problem. In which, if we could chart our life on a graph – Its obviously going downwards.

The term of ‘walled garden’ is purely inspired by Telco’s stratagem who wanted to attract possible customers. In Malaysia, we have three major telcos; Celcom, Digi and Maxis. These telcos offered attractive packages and deals to attract customers. From yellow rubber suited man who stalked us virtually everywhere, to supersavers plan which made our eye looks sleepless when attending early morning lecture. All seems attractive, when in fact, there are lots of strings attached. Those includes cheaper rates for same operator calls, data which are inoperable/in transferable on to other networks and contracts which may spanned for years. Remember, when we used to only able send message to similar prefix numbers? In a nutshell, walled garden is literally offering something a sort of freedom within a certain confinement.

Men offered or promises great things, either spoken or unspoken. They do wonders with their ability or talent. Some did their careful homework and assimilate themselves to personify the dreamguy of the studied girl. This is because timba cari perigi, where the girl holds the decision-making card. It’s natural law, or basic instinct, which the male would wanted to show they are far more supreme than the rest. The female obviously would like to be with the best. Just like when we were in the process of choosing Telco’s which can offer wonderful packages or deals. Girls do compare and settle for something that suite them best.

‘Walled garden’ shall be filled with beautiful flowers, water lilies and plenty of helicornias and everything pretty. And yes, we put our heartrobe inside so she could innocently roam around and further lushes the floras there if she wanted to. Guys knew that a girl sometimes needs to be treated like a princess whenever is possible. In any such way, magnitude, or method we persevere to do that. Generously, we even include a garden to pair up with the princess. Yet, bare in mind, its walled. So, there is a restricted freedom in which how far she could roam.

In real world, where the is a presence of fear in every men, which never really expect, but, does anticipate for a worst case scenario of their girlfriend being snatched (worst, bedeviled ), the principle of ‘walled garden’ may be applied. Whatever way they does it or whichever name they call it, there is no doubt, walled garden is invisibly present to get the situation in control. Control, on the other hand, is among a hideous word. When we do our work, control from other people is the least thing we wanted. Control is an obstruction. We don’t want too many controlled aspect in our life . People who exercises control defended their action by calling it a discipline, a rule or a priority. Take a look at the Commie China which imposed control over the internet content. Any blogs, videos or wikis which were against ( or subversive ) the communism ideology will be phased out.

Control is the worst thing to describe the ‘walled garden’, yet, its also the basis of it. Its for guys to exercise control over the relationship. The water lilies, Helicornias and bougavillas mentioned earlier were the treats that we give to our girlfriends, like presents, box of chocolates and jewelries ( if can afford…) . Girls are getting exceptionally clever to not blindly fall for boys that is macho. As the saying goes; style without substance is absolutely nothing. It’s the ‘walled garden’ offerings that attracted them. It’s the extravagant offering of the ‘walled garden’ that has shrouded the excruciating pain of couplehood and its tonnes of compromises. Like Telcos highlighting their offerings while showing their terms and conditions in microscopic size. That is why; we wondered why some of less-pleasantly eye-sore zombie looking guys can have a stunning hot and sweet girlfriend. It’s the walled garden offerings which hold the secret. What is the secret?

The Faunas

You might notice that many times, animals were mentioned in previous entries of my blog. As far as I’m concerned, pig, rats and mice has joined the club of being featured here on Tudya! Why are there too many mentioning of animals? Frankly speaking, animals has long been the source of inspiration for me. Cynical? Nah. Average people who have read my blog wouldn’t be too shallow minded to know that these animals were representation of real people in real life.

In a society where Paris Hilton would just bashed and drop several F-bombs on peeping Papparazis, direct confrontation and publicly raise of voice is something that measure the jantaness plus with the public getting insanely interested in suing each other under the pretext of defamation, lack-of-sleep, tense emotions etc. etc. There are still rooms for courtesy, I might say.

Animals on the other hand, are easy to deal with. They wouldn’t sue us if we did a story on them. Even if we mocked or antagonized them with ugliest possible ways till hundreds of chapters, they would just continue with their daily routine of food searching, sleep and other natural instinct they were born with.

Take a look at Knut, the first human raised polar bear ( Wow! Humans learned to raise a bear! That’s the opposite of Jungle Book ). Grown in the confines of the zoo somewhere in Germany. Look how the bear has inspired people to be extra environmentally aware without preaching a single word. With Knut, there are various merchandises like notepad, umbrellas and things like that are being sold barring his unknown mood face. The zoo received an increased number of visitors. Finally, this Knut the polar bear got something that most our business student were trying to emulate even before their graduation year. Knut has been trademarked and listed in Berlin stock exchange. Nuts, isn’t it?

Using animals as mere representation of real person or a certain organization may sound like cowardly critical to some. Yet, for me this is taken as a symbol of courtesy. Even, folklores or children storybooks have used animals to represent the real life situation. Remember the first quirky thing happened to Alice on her misadventure to Wonderland. It’s the rabbit hole. A rabbit ( Hmm… rabbit satay is juicy though ). The folklore of various cultures of different regions has used animals as the main characters to portray real life situation. Remember ‘the dog and its shadows’? ‘ugly duckling’? or ‘the wolf and the lambs’ where the mother lamb performed a miraculous C-section to free her children lambs from the wolf stomach without anesthetics. Some version is too kind to show the mother lamb stitching back the wounds. After all, it’s folklore.

Some animals were used as degradation slang. For instance, the nature of female dog having sex with many often various male dogs has triggered the ‘bitch’ word. Bitch either with a asterisk cover or without it were used widely, especially in places like colleges where girlfriend and boyfriend swapping were becoming like a trendy publicity stunt. Bitch word were thrown here and there, sideways, left, right, back and front like we used to crumble papers and throw it aimlessly in the examination hall when it ends. Here, in my home state, the situation which children that has siblings which were bore by different mother were called ‘ adik beradik’ amongst them. But, it took an interesting turn as siblings were from different father but the same mother. They were termed as ‘ saudara anjing ’. Like earlier mentioned, the nature of female canine making up with different male canine ( In other words; one size ~ fits all ) has spurned this degradation term. Worst, it lingers till the children. Well, saudara anjing may not be registered as an official lingo in Kamus Dewan, but, it reflected that human do indeed learned a lot from animals.

Before ending this blog; I would like to extend my wishing to those families and friends which are going to celebrate the Chinese New Year. Gong Hei Gong Hei! Golden Rats everywhere!

The Friction

In a matter of days, we will usher in the year of rats according to the Chinese calendar, with the hope that the appearance of these slick rodents may bring us some lucky auras and kick away those jinxes that may linger from the previous year of stoiky boar.

Each passing year, may it be the Roman, Muslim or Chinese calendar, we hoped for the best. Each passing year, we were briefed about the luck and good things that may pass us by during the period of time. Everyone, from Capricorn till Sagittarius flocking those back pages of magazine or small corners on the daily concerning the prospects and influences represented by one of the twelve animals of the zodiac . Smart as it is, they have categorized it with its individual chunks of forecast including; monetary, relationship and social.

The beginning of various new years gives us the chance of creating a new slate. Like a new season of the-story-of-our life, with a better cast, crews, contents, new direction and perhaps different hair dos. Only thing is no channel is willing to premiere it. We set our sight for a fresher outlook towards the world and people surrounding us. We wished to extend the good things that we had. We planned to achieve many things which we thought it possibly be. We were briefed by motivators that “if we can achieve, we will achieve it! “, optimism, it’s good.

What troubled us is the new year resolutions that we pledge to accomplish were made in a vacuumed friction-less world. A plan which were happily etched in an environment where bad things were never thought to occur. For instance, we wished to have more friends without realizing that somebody might be running a smear-campaign behind us to revert our friends. We wished to expand our business without keeping in mind that someone is taking a deep breath for a blitz hostile takeover. When we had something great to start, there may be people somewhere that mobilize his/her influence for collective anticipation to see us failing, spiraling all the way into oblivion. They thought its fun to do so. Yes, indeed, it takes a primary school kids to know this for a fact that life is full of challenges, but it’s a different thing as we face the problem eye-to-eye.

Then, we have our own mechanism of encountering problem. Because we badly need a clear, smooth and jam-free road to let our plans runs blazing fast outpacing any Looney speedy Gonzales. It’s a separate set of element that runs coherently with our aim to fulfill our goal. These mechanism has robbed our time, energy and concentration. Like watching too much TV takes a toll on our eyesight, whereas we were watching Discoveries or NGEO channel .In short, we are never invincible from these sort of threats.

In organizations, for instance, Proton story, there are such thing called the ‘protectionist’ stance, which are a set of rules imposed by the government so that the carmaker Proton could grow in very trouble-less, obstacle-less and conducive environment ( In turns, a perfect saga ). Yes, our parent too has set a ‘protectionist’ surrounding which allowed us to operate out of the harshness of real world. When reality first laid its cold hands on our skin; we know it sting and hurt real bad.

Perhaps, teenage period is the transitional period where the ‘protectionist’ comfort gets taken away, as year’s passes by, our resolutions gets lesser and lesser smooth in achieving it. With 10 new aim sets, perhaps only 3 may be successfully attained. In my humble opinion, this is what I call ‘friction’. It applies to everything we does. As we rub our hands against each other, as I type on the keypad. As we drive our cars on the tarred road. In fact, friction causes wear and tear. If a motivator keep saying the over-exaggerated slogans like: “ if we believe we can achieve it, we will achieve it! Repeat after me three times!!!“, they must be out of their frigging mind because human spirits does wear and tear. All because of the ‘friction’.

I honestly admit that I no longer make any resolutions each and every new year. Instead, I concentrated on formulating my own problem solving mechanism. If my personal achievement can be represented on a Cartesian graph, the 18 till 20’s would be a recession period. No growth time space, worst, its declining with the line dipping. A lot of schism and ruckuses has plagued which rendered me ''unmovable''. I could only have an upward thrust once I have found a rock-solid problem solving method. A method which can be uniformly applied on various type of problem, thus saving time. Some sort of UHU glue where it sticks universally anything.

Frankly, It's just plain stupid to say: “ Wow! Its 2008/1429 or Golden Rat year, so, I just Ctrl+Alt+Delete those schism like it never occurred and start the brand new season of my life on a clean slate with a smiling face “. Pretentiously living life like the on-going problem may never bug again. A real bad decision. Imagine having a fledging spirit to fulfill a resolution yet still engulfed with old problems. It’s like having a Ferrari on a jammed road. which is real sucks.

Perhaps successful people may have developed resilience towards ‘friction’. They can turn deaf ears on bad things people talked on their back. They may have developed thick skin which can deflect any backstabs. They may have great buoyancy where if any collective efforts to throw these people off a ship, they float and survives it well.

The Glitz

Friday is a day that I loved and gave a lot of thoughts. Its definitely the khutbah incite me to think a lot. It’s also a day which I reflect myself amongst the society. When it comes to the Friday prayers, I would like to wear the best of my Baju Melayu and went to pray at the nearest mosque. If possible I would want to wear a higher black songkok, a nice perfectly ironed baju melayu with the waist wrapped with shining kain songket. Flanked by friends and smiling brimmed with confidence, those were the alter egos which played in the little media player of my own brain. Some UMNO-esque scenario where people of higher places wear their fanciful sets of baju melayu, converged in Putra convention and shaking the hands of people who silently demanded their attention for ease of their cari-makan.

The lavishness of Perhimpunan Agung UMNO can be seen in its huge mainstage with portraits spanned across it depicting previous leaders for the past half century. The magnitude of which the event ran for several days. Not forgetting, the glamour which has been injected into politics with the Wanita’s on the prowl with their loaded accessories, pearls and braces hanging here and there. There’s Puteri’s with their kebayas or baju kurung in lighter hues of red; of course, pink.

Since girls are getting exceptionally smarter than boys, the Puteri members has been a majority consisted of lawyers or lawyers-to-be which may have their sight set on politics or things like that. One time we see even former Miss Malaysia Erra Fazira being affiliated with Puteri UMNO. Such a glitz and revelation which could make UMNO a hippy organization rather than a hot keris-waving debate subject. And best of all, the five strongmen that sets the path of UMNO and the ethnic it represent as a whole: Three vice-presidents, a deputy president and the president itself.

As I walked to the vehicle double-parked somewhere near the mosque, I could see old men which age level can be deemed as my atuks or tokwans riding on their trusted bicycle. Most walked their way to the mosque with their clean white jubbahs or simply with plain shirt coupled with kain pelikat peten kotak-petak. My mind starts to imagine those days when Perhimpunans were attended by kampong folks in showing their defiance towards Malayan Union. Those days when Rapid KL were yet still far from a brilliant suggestion ( which turns out to be far from reliable too, today ). Those days when allowance for attending perhimpunan were like disgusting offering which may taint their fledging spirit. Those days when Malays were not as divided as today. When Malays were not in chronic confusion of being either religion-centric or ethnic-centric.

Of course Malayan Union sum of all fears of the Malays during the time. If it runs, perhaps Malaysia will just be another exact replication of New Zealand, Australia or South Africa. A nation full of rednecks where the original people just served as a purpose to promote the local tourism. Imagine ghazal, kuda kepang or wayang kulit were performed at a resort while some white men siphons in the money.

Apart from glamour, grand and glitz, there should be a conscience mind of which a leader should have or had been a person that comes from humble beginnings. In this moment of time we don’t really require any leaders that were spoon-fed with silver spoon as early as birth. Who wear leather shoes as soon as they learned walking during toddler. Instead, A leader that seeks knowledge with the help of gasoline lamps, a leader that never wore shoes since it had learned to walk, a leader which patiently collect waters of a well to get themselves cleaned. All of which has been experienced in real life. Since people often said that life is great teacher, perhaps not a fancy college or military academy. A down to earth leader, which never come from a privileged family or legacy like royalties.

We all knows or might have a little clues of the previous leadership from Tunku Abdul Rahman to Dr.M, which may have come from poor hand-to-mouth families and which may maintain that English way of life of lepaking in bars brushing shoulders with English people while listening to smooth jazz music. As well as the incumbent.

Maybe, different people had different perspective of judging a real good leader. Maybe a leader humble beginnings are not important or a measure of a great leader. Some say leaders are not made neither born; it’s like a talent or a gift.

Look at the kids nowadays which are much luckier and thickly buttered that we are. They own a PSP as early as 6, gets three to four figured duit rayas and goes globe-trotting like a global citizen. For all that, I believed their parent has intention to inspire them, which is good. In which, their grandfathers may have walked several miles under the scorching heat of the sun just to attend perhimpunan in showing their pledge against monopolistic British rule etc. etc.

Khulafa al-Rashidin which accounts of four leaders that lead the Muslim empire after the demise of Rasulullah p.b.u.h sees them walking on the streets which normal citizen walked. These khulafa even sat underneath trees to listen to people problems and tribulations. If telling stories seems to sound like a fictional recreation that tries to be a rhetoric. Then, go to Arab region itself and try to find any castle that are related to these Khulafa. Then, its clear that they indeed never need any humongous Klang-MP Zakaria like castle to show their superiority.