The Thought Reservation

Did you know it only cost RM2 to be a member of UMNO.

A relative of mine is a member of UMNO, and that is what he told me about the fees. Pay it, and I’m officially a Pemuda UMNO, the youth wing of Malaysia biggest political party.

Wait! I never filled any form or pay any fees as I do not know the privileges or advantage of being a Pemuda. But I have to bear in mind that UMNO should be seen as a platform to express struggle and plight of the Malays. Much Malay struggle has been seen with UMNO in the scene; from gaining independence, establishment of universities, setting-ups of MARA and pooling of ready-to-use funds for small entrepreneurs.

Do I have to sacrifice my RM2 to qualify myself in showing respect, love and faithfulness towards my nation and race? This is not a trivial question. Once you join UMNO, you are in the game, your fledging nationalistic spirit will be channeled towards things that matters. Your sweat soak the skin due to following orders from leaders that seems to felt how much Malays needed that helping hand. Our ancestors which may have their deepest trust in UMNO (some may choose SABERKAS? PKMM?) had walked several miles under the scorching hot sun just to assist the anti-Malayan Union poster printing. Our ancestors may have ridden the bicycle from deepest region of kampongs to attend rallies.

If we, the current generation of Malays failed to realize the importance of UMNO and keep it relevant, then, the previous generation tiring walk and bicycle rides may just be nothing but just plain tiring.

But that is 1950s. Time had moved on and we are now living in time of One Utama can make your leg feel numb. In a generation where Louis Vuiviton has opened its boutique in Kuala Lumpur and the word ‘Allah’ has been a subject of debate for Christian usage. Malaysia has become somewhat a safe and fun place to live. And regional nationalistic are things easily to disregard, dropped into the rubbish bin for something much more flexible like liberal thoughts. Do not get shocked, if gay rights advocate already existed in the heart of this populous and ever-urban Klang Valley. Today, people who speak about being idealist nationalistic are labeled as close-minded people. In the 1950, gay rights activist may have themselves killed and bodies thrown into the river.

Why thrown into river? Are Malays bunch of uncivilized lynching mob ruling society? One word, every man has its breaking point. Things like bumiputra concept and the Sultanate, if anyone within this crowded highway infested Klang Valley felt its cool and safe within the liberal-minded neighbourhood to point out it is the Malay Achilles heel and ploy to throw acid and cause hurt on it while laughing like a SpongeBob square pants; does it sound these people had bad intentions?

No. Under the pretext of equal rights and freedom, acids are allowed to be thrown at bumiputra concept and Sultanate. They might be regarded as heroes which life struggles awaits movie-adaptation by some indie mop-like haired director, when people like me may just be another homo of Utusan reading and TV3 watching man.

Truthfully, I would want to be a Pemuda UMNO and strengthen it from inside, but, what are the odds of me bringing something fruitful when money are the grease that keeps UMNO running? Its ashamed to be part of UMNO nowadays, its much more ashamed to leave UMNO when its weak.

I reserved my decision about Pemuda. If Khairy Jamaluddin, the son-in-law of incumbent oh-so-clean UMNO president is the role model of next generation Pemuda, perhaps he might just picked up too much negative vibe. Yet, its UMNO blessing to have Oxford graduate as one of its leaders. Opposition party, as usual, they talked about Khairy as being “man with right university, wrong mindset”

If UMNO is a taboo word for you, perhaps, we can talk something else.

A television channel usually gained its revenue through airtime advertisement. Now, they seem to diversify through initiation of websites and carnival. Yet, airtime advert seems to be their prime source of stable revenue.

The problem with free-to-air commercial television station is to keep their advertisement short. Audience would have complained or shift channel once there are too many advertisement to watch. Losing viewership rating means losing popularity thus having low penetration rate, chasing away prospect advertisers. TV station had to balance things out, with each year, rebranding themselves with announcement like “10% lesser advertisement” to entice audience. While, on the commercial side, the TV channel kept convincing prospect advertisers about innovative advertise-on-air, advertising through sponsorship, website advertising etc. etc.

If wastage, corrupt and marking-ups amongst UMNO itself has become very critical, rampant and beyond repair, perhaps, UMNO leadership should consider things like balancing up. Vote buying is of course non-existent for commercial TV station added with reliable no-stake owed audit body. Yet, political party like UMNO should have known that thing can get really tricky when too much money rolling within its members yet votes from rakyat showed that they are losing ‘viewership’

When too much money used to grease the party, UMNO member ‘vote-value’ may varies greatly to a rakyat ‘vote-value’. I might as well remain as an affiliation-free rakyat.

Come to think again, if free-to-air TV station made us wait with their commercial, why not we do the subscription-based channel like Astro? They reduce the ads by charging certain fees to its audience? Can UMNO ‘model’ itself to be less government contract-reliant by pooling resources from its 8 million over members? Just like Obama collect money from his supporters to fund his campaign?

Looking at our economic strength, and the caterpillar money-hungry mark-up champion member of parties (not all), it seems like UMNO is far-far away from being a ‘commercial-free’. UMNO still had to do that balancing act of grease money and winning favors in-tandem.

The Fuzzy Logic

In this age of hybrids, metrosexuality and iMacs. We all wanted the best of two things.

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It does not take a rocket scientist to understand what is fuzzy logic. If you were asked about your age? How would you answer to that? If you counted your age relative to months ,then, you wouldn’t be any older till the month comes. If

counted according to years, then you age have risen up a notch as we step into new year. Apparently both are logical answer.

In this new age, even facebook seems to understand people affinity towards fuzzy logic; with its status preferences showing options of single, in a relationship, married, engaged, In an open relationship or just plain confused. Imagine how boring it would be to see either SINGLE or TAKEN shown on our profile instead when we are neither. Today, we usher an era where we don’t just answer a query in binary manner of either a 0=YES or 1=NO. Alternatively, world is not only painted in black and white. They consisted in many shades of grey.

There are no frustrating responses other than these ‘grey responses’. Being a simple minded person, we are subject to tremendous pressure of people telling you its not a NO but not a YES either. Its somewhere in the middle of unchartered territory. Like the age question: it can either be partially true and partially wrong at one time. This usually occurs in relationship.

When you have a relationship with someone, as we know, there is no way to calculate or measure affection. Mankind had gone to extreme length to measure moles of chemicals and photons of lights which seems to be too vague to calculate for the rest of us. Affection on other hand, an emotional response triggered by god-knows-what. The moment a couple seems to ‘agree’, it seems everything leads to YES. Unlimited and without holds.

In this fuzzy logic world, the term YES can branch into several types of YES. A 25%YES does exist and differs greatly from 75%YES. Occasionally, we met those kind of people that took advantage of fuzzy logic. A girl who uses the word ‘sayang’ to no matter whom she talked to. Sensible sense wise, sayang is a word reserved to someone who we really care. Its akin to honey. But perhaps, due to the oh-so-urban attitude and bye-bye-conventional kick-ass image projection, everyone gets their bit of sayang. She explained its simply not wrong to call friend sayang; She loves her friends. Then I asked what does she call the person she really affectionate? She cleverly answers “itu cinta”. I did asked further what a difference with kekasih, buah hati, teman mesra as there will be various type of parallel relationship, and there it goes a long list of this-can-be-done and cannot-be-done. Kekasih can co-exist with teman-mesra; buah-hati, sayang and cinta can exist simultaneously to form a threesome(?) and so on so on. Like a prepaid combo packages and cross-lines call tariffs. It differs.

I wonder why? When things can be as simple as binary YES or NO. ALL or NOTHING. BLACK or WHITE. There are people who subscribed to this type of complexity of OBVIOUSLY YES, PERTIALLY YES, HALF-HEARTED YES, NO-BUT STILL…, DEFINITELY NO, NOT NECESSARILY NO-NO.

Yet, I do not blame or get mad with these people and their ‘grey responses/fuzzy logic’ they are giving. We are not SQL server where there is a chart for each responses. We are not lawyers which strikes question and the responses are majorly YES or NO ( during trials ). We are humans, given ears to listen and brain to reason things out. So, I take time to listen and you are damn right, this ‘grey responses/fuzzy logic’ takes loads of time. Most of the time, its counter-productive and takes us into a confusing rabbit hole. Fuzzy logic is perhaps akin to ‘beating around the bush’ talk. That is why CEO only hears report during meeting, either they GAIN or LOSE. Military Commanders with their confirmation of either GO or ABORT. Quick and simple.

Fuzzy logic may be applied in good ways. As ways to avoid bursting people bubble or high expectation, we frankly tell them that the result varies from a degree to a certain degree. Fuzzy logic can form a distancing mechanism where once a couple declared their relationship, the affirmation is somewhat partial, in effect, there would not be an express make-love-on-sandy-beach getaway. YES is not a 100% YES. Fuzzy logic echoes the English superlatives for instance; good, better, best- logically, they all are what we wanted; but which one exactly?

Fuzzy logic can be played for the fun of it. Like hooking up with someone which serves as stepping stone before hooking up with much more desirable partner.It’s a logic that we speak, yet it has a blurry bottom line. And because our mind digests ‘logic’ easily it doesn’t matter if it has blurry bottom line, for as long as its logic!

The opposite of fuzzy logic will be crisp logic. A logical sense that is very much recognized, that it seems clear and crisp. In short; it will be like answering a Q like a binary machine: YES or NO.

The R-Word

No, R don’t make up another type of society level. R is the rest of us. R u sure?

As I browse through the newspaper a few days ago I came across a film advertisement. 

As usual, when a new movie are released ( also applies to going-to-be-release), there will be this small column on the left or bottom of newspaper with the simplified trailer poster. But this film 

advertisement had a rather interesting catch phrase on top of all; Program Merakyatkan Filem.( does it translate into ‘Bringing film close to people programme’? )

Title of the film is ‘Mekanik’ and one of the actress name mentioned that I still can recall is Susan Lankaster. It is not to be shown in couple-seat equipped THX-strapped cinemas. Instead, its being shown somewhere for free-of-charge. On the bottom, there is the Kementerian Kebudayaan, Kesenian dan Warisan emblem.

A bit about the poster itself which sits on the lower left quadrant of the news page would be some sort of a illustration poster. With all of its cast being caricarturized, and main actor is seen holding a ridiculously huge spanner with ‘MEKANIK’ written across it. The poster reminds me of an era where Photoshop were still in its infancy level and bell bottom were as cool as hell. Not forgetting, Tun Dr.Mahathir might be a senator at the moment with chin reaching sideburn. Back to the poster, by the looks, it must be a comedy movie.

Nothing much to elaborate. I never intend to watch that free preview and never really understood what kind of approach the Program Merakyatkan Filem is going to be. It might be an Ibanese, a Malay, a Chinese, an Indian, a Siamnese, a Dayak Laut and Dayak Darat being seated side by side in during the preview. Just my two cents.

Yet, the word merakyatkan seems to caught my attention. With the multi paradigm, multi racial with different class, academic and economic status each branching in different idea, outlook and belief in many aspect, how to merakyatkan something? My dad says Alleycats did it once. Alleycats bridged the gap of the carefree poor and taste-concious rich. The bumiputra and the non-bumiputras. The Bahasa speaking and the non-bahasa speaking. Rumours has it that the lead singer never understood a single of Bahasa word. He just sang the whole song just like some of us whom become erraticly obsessed with Korean drama Winter Sonata and could sing the soundtrack verbatim. Without getting a clue what it means.

As I flipped through the daily, then, came across the B. Sathianathans’ somewhat hyperbolic punch line that says ‘M-League is not a football’. I do not know what he personally meant. It can be that he’s trying to tell the rest of us that ‘M-League is not a football, it’s a lawn bowl! ‘, but it just left there. Ironically, it is true, fans of local football is quite frustrated and rather go with Barclays due to the lack of sporting spirit in local football – In short, it is not football. There are powerful figures inside of football that neither has anything to do with football nor lawn bowl.

But why football? Are these powerful figures has got any stake in the young blood that fuel the national theme? Or is it huge amount of money poured into Malaysian football? Or is it prestige of high-ranks? Whatever advantage these people are sapping from national football, they should realize that football can be one of an instrument to unite people. I do come across an article where a coup d’état occurred in Argentina. There have been civil clashes and most of the people were plain mad. But one thing kept them in one piece. Football. At the time, Diego Maradona and his teammates were hustling to help Argentina climb into the final of World Cup. It was the mad Argentinian only reason to hold their fierce breath of fire. Indeed, Argentina made it into finals.

The Malaysian football must go through a process of dirakyatkan.Not to say, that each rakyat must vote through SMS for the nation first eleven. But, to ensure that the first eleven has got the real talent. Let the professional have full rights to pull the string without much obstruction or pre-conditioning. I strongly believe, professionals, without the silver spoon and platter, have gone through failure many times, before they gained their hard earned professional treatment. Yes, we have our sports research and sport science faculties that endlessly brewing on performance enhancing techniques. Do not let football become a lame sport that has no future, but packs lots of glamour. Parents today are hesitating to let their kids venture into the football career, they all clearly voice their concern about this ‘risky and regulated’ path. Effectively, the World Cup 2018 aim remained sketchy. I’am eager to see and totally confident that we will be Asia best, if not the world. All, without importing and giving residential status. But how?

Speaking of dirakyatkan, it is no wider usage apart from entertainment or sports other than politics ( pardon me, if you already had heavy doses of politics these few weeks, then, you may stop reading this entry from here ).

The UMNO defeat in Kuala Terengganu exposes us lots of responses in different frequency and modulation. What more can UMNO say to regain confidence of mainstream thinking Malays other than to trying to deflect allegation thrown at them.

But I am not a political observer that can list down all of that. What I am just plain concern is the ‘elite’ image of UMNO. Like several post which cynically remarks the pompous event related to UMNO and its figures. They were like a bunch of breakfast in London, Lunch in New York folks. Why are they inclined to become this ‘high maintenance select society’? When an individual or organisation becomes spendthrift, how are they trying to turn it around? Remember. UMNO used to have no money with its supporters ride their bicycles braving the sun and curfews to protest against Malayan Union and other interventions. They took trains and busses and slept in friends/relatives homes to attend rallies in major cities. The old UMNO.

Patrons of UMNO consists of people that can live with small pocket money, like teachers; names like Tun Ghafar Baba and Datuk Razali Ismail (former Kuala Terengganu MP) urges fellow teachers and academician to support UMNO and its ability to thrive this small race called Malay. Teachers and academicians, they had have their own circle and talk in a language that they’re familiar amongst themselves. Names mentioned above are the people whom can speak this language and convey it to the upper echelon of UMNO, vice versa.

PAS once had sasterawan negara Shahnon Ahmad working for them in 1999. He contested to become an MP for Sik constituency, Kedah. He lost and did not seek to contest in any election since then. It is not a bad idea after all. He may have the widest bandwidth in terms of articulating his ideas either verbally or written. The writers/sasterawan circle may be the keen listeners and would probably helped PAS candidate elsewhere. PAS won Terengganu in 1999 general election while retaining Kelantan.

UMNO. Somehow, somewhat they have to be an effort to turn this party into a thinking powerhouse that swerve through the ever challenging world of politics with full of pragmatic decision and respectable actions. A thinking powerhouse which ideas bears fruit that benefitted the race they represented. No more a money-making-powerhouse. Leave that contract giveaways to the business chambers etc. If high ranks of UMNO being polarized to a certain profession, it will have a hard time to come out of this current ruckus. Other profession like teachers and doctors also have ability to lead. Most importantly, they are part of rakyat. Lets merakyatkan the party. Or they shall remained a ‘high maintenance select society club’.

The Coming of Age

October is finally here, and many things that I have picked up and learned along the way. Only, there is one major adjustment that can never possibly be made. If so, it would potentially take several years before coming to a realization.

It was around mid-july 2007 as finals are approaching when someone asked me when I am going to make a leap of faith. It was a non-personal query as that person is a close colleague of mine. So do her to my friends. A life walkaround with companion, hmm… I ponder. If not by knot of marriage, but through forbidden language called the ‘coupling’. I flipped through numbers trying to make estimation when October crossed my mind. Yeah. October. Not on the present year, but next year which will be 2008.

Waa…at that moment it seems pretty long and tiring wait. Yet, that is the price paid for a resolution to take shape. Even, how many of our new-year resolutions had survived and lived beyond words? The path remained doubtful and sketchy as of where do I begin? Should I go fishing for girls? If so, how many of them should I put in the initial batch? Should I do some homework? It seems very foggy and guideless, yet like a promise of a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, the conclusion to all this resolution would be the chance smile like an honest man smiling.

Days goes by, months goes along. Time really moves fast. As I remained committed towards a change and several rules have been imposed towards myself, Its really puts me into pandemonium of seeing this magnanimous vision coming into action as curtain falls and October reveled herself. Should I scream in joy? Should I remain somber in silence? Should I cry as finally things had come into place? These are questions which I asked myself. I never had been through crossroads and no single reason why should I turn back in this pursuit of happiness. October is upon me, let it be.

I remind myself that I cannot presume everything will be back in order and perfect if October brought the much needed joy. We are all flaw in some way. Having a relationship is another way to subtly get response of our flaw and ways to accept it. Flaw that keeps our head low and not think that we are inferior or superior to anyone else. Flaw which takes time to disappear or coup-up. Flaw that makes us talk in a manner that’s humble. Flaw makes us think hard trying our best avoid bad circumstances. God knew if he let any of his creatures roam free on this face of earth without flaw, that creature would just manifest everything.

Flaw is not a subject that is going to curb my October aim, neither I am going to use my flawlessness and gained sympathy as I encounter October. Perhaps, flaw can be looked in a different angle. Flaw as a force that binds two people together. Just like the invisible force that binds a pair of magnets.

Resilient Girl or Naïve Silly Girl?

I have an assertive pre-condition in engaging a relationship previously and repeatedly said. The desire to see the other best side of me being extremely resilient towards external influences ( besties, cronies, cliques alike ). It may bit sounded like a control freak though, but this is a simple favor which demanded a clever desegregation between private room and peer/friendship room. I even like the idea of both friendship and relationship circle to eventually (over time) merge and create a healthy conflict-free friendship ecosystem.

Why am I antagonizing the idea of besties/cronies/cliques? Have I reached boiling point dealing with them? Frankly, I do not antagonize them and far away from taking any confrontation with them. They are needed/important as much as ponstan pill for aching architects or ctrl+alt+del for jamming computers . They are vital entities which existence cannot be denied. Given option for them to vanquish, I won’t advocate it as such will worsen situation. But, if it becomes too ‘clingy’ or ‘dependent’, then it gets really cramped. If such deliberate collective act by besties/cronies/clique to suppress partner into abandoning relationship then it gets really annoying and intrusive. If both situation are considered as flaw. By then, thinking should come into action. That is why a bit of segregation practice is needed.

Takut kena ombak jangan berumah ditepi pantai ( If you fear a typhoon will destroy your home, do not build your home near the beach ). If I reckon to absolutely protect myself from this kind of problem, let alone I distance and bear myself from befriending my future partner social circle. No way this would happen. This kind of attitude is extremely selfish? Don’t you think its possessive, obsessive and childish? Wanting 100% of partner attention as if she has no other pursuits/purpose/commitments in her life. In the end of the day, there should be a trade-off between these two circles vice-versa.

Talking about childish, I do admit that I don’t want to grow up. I rather be commanded and guided. I rather have someone mature and senior than my age to walk along and tell me which bird chirp what and which streets leads to where. Yes, never mind about the age. Even I looked like a 25~26ers at first glance. I can coup-up with those with the 9 to 5 routine of theirs. Oddly enough, I don’t hassle if everything turned out to be a queen controlled relationship. Let there be a proof woman power and good it could bring.

Many wondered with my odd way of doing things, what kind of partner that I shall finally meet? If I wanted to meet my intellectual desire, I envisioned aggressive talk-a-lot pre-law chick. At least I can learn something. I might scoop a thing or two on the limits and boundaries of blogging within the context of law. I might become more vigil when dealing with individual, organizations or companies with their terms and conditions that acts like a coyote in finding the possibilities to rob us in broad daylight.

Sticking to the not-so-fiery-nationalist inside me, I would want a hitam manis Kedahan girl which would someway/someday accompany me all the way for balik kampong? She could remind me overtime to stay down to earth, tone my voice down and being humble, especially in KL as anak perantauan. She could polish my northern lingos and we can argue about kerisek and santan nyior in preparation of gulai.

I never bother if all mentioned qualities cannot be fulfilled, perhaps, a combination of two or three?

We all understood that putting too many criterions in finding a partner are luxury that little of us can possibly afford ( What? Rich, voluptuous, KL-upper crust socialites ).While letting any interested soul that passes by into serious relationship setup would then can be seen as reckless as tangkap muat ( grab all ). Its principle bound pitted against open-channeling

Sooner or later, all of the qualities I knee-jerk wanted from a girl may just be washed off. I ‘am willing to waive all. Not because I have no principle. This, to keep a positive and clear mind, and wished for the best for whomever that stood within the line. Who knows the girl which had fondness with overgrown shades ( I call it speck lalat ) might just be the one that suite me. Who may guess I might fall for any UMNO cronies daughters. I know I had big comments about them with their fancy stuff and affluent lifestyle of uncertain origins. But, it wouldn’t hurt to take a ride on cute little Volkswagen Golf GTI’s. Visionary cronies I wouldn’t mind either, I would sit beside them and listen to what’s life as an UMNO crony attentively while her daughter can make coffee in the kitchen. Who knows that girl with lacking of peer pressure resilience might be the one for me? Beauty has never been the answer. Neither status nor positions guarantee happiness. Age or race never assures a couplehood survival.

Nature has its own way of unsettling itself

What is her name?

The question of how much seriousness have I purged into this search for the other better half is as much serious I put into living. How serious do I take life? Or am I still in limbo? No, I’am not in limbo all this while. As nature takes its course, everything will unravel in a short notice. But if you asked about my future partner, I admit, it is still foggy and sketchy as I board the train of nature which one day might surprise me with wonders. Don’t expect me to pull out names whatsoever; this is no ala-the bachelor reality show.

Like I expect October comes in a short notice, there are things that never come shortly. I have adjustments which cannot be quickly done. I am an introvert, in which I never had huge networks of friends to seek littlest advice from how to fit a gas casket or where to seek the cheapest tow truck during accidents. We all know that having a huge networks of friends means a lot in some way. It means late night lepaking with fellow friends of four to five instead of a pair. As I heard someone mentioned that I am no ‘fun’, lacking a huge networks of friend not only means limited aid during troubled times, but also, gives an impression of society boycott. Lacking of acceptance or unpopular. Lacking of interaction. What shall I do when thing are perceived this way? People draw simple conclusion that the lesser number of friends you had means you are disliked or despised. Its left to the public judgment to assume I am rejected by the society or I dejected myself from the crowd. Either way, skin has been thickened by lesson picked up years upon years. Way before October comes.

Looking at positive light, I’am a person that believes in singular minded idealogy.I’am well aware of the term loner and individualistic. In Malay its called pulau (deserted). At core, I am very much realist, I accept this kind of realities. If you think my phonebook has active contacts, I suck big time in that. I withdraw myself from the society very much because I believe the idea of human interaction is very much disposable like diapers. When business is done, there is no need to contacts or talk anymore, as I becomes unnecessary. I become less SMS-worthy and buzz-worthy. Unless, I’am a Kedahan royal blood bachelor, then interaction becomes extended due to my ‘synthetic’ positioning.

Aside from disposable, I found the idea of human interaction is sometimes heavily structured. There are followers which cling and boasted about their connection with big names, VIPs. I assume myself as debris ( serpihan ); perhaps the flying without direction niche of social member. I owe no allegiance to anybody or anyone, as I find it easy living this way. Secession, rebellious or unaligned; in history, it has been proven this kind of act is 50/50 success rate. Either I succeed or fail, time will tell.

This is the flaw that I have. I do not demand sympathy because it’s a choice I made years back. My mouth is virtually zipped, and only writing such of blog entries represent my voice since 2003. I am not arrogant to ‘push’ myself back into the society and finding a whole bunch people that fits me. Create a broad web of contacts that my future girlfriend would awe and find me ‘’fun’’. An adjustment, which may take years to do so as I let nature, takes its course. I have experience having relationship fallout due to absence of connections. I admit, love alone in today standard make relationship seems handicapped. As the saying goes; style without substance.

Either she has to acclimate or I have to make a complete mindset change, there will be a trade-off. Somewhat, somehow.

The Journo

Many of us never heard the name Pak Samad, the unsung hero and nationalist. A strong proponent of Bahasa Melayu. The only bells that rung when speaking about Samad is A.Samad Said the writer of Malay satire Salina or the controversial Ahmad Ismail. 

So, I went to tinjau-tinjau and research in the internet. I only knew Pak Samad when news about his death came out. Beginning from that moment I started reading little by little on his story. And I bet, there are plenty of things which me myself has got find out within the stacks, rubble and collection of history.

Last few weeks, my entry centered on sovereignty and it’s filling. It is proven that independence alone does not mean anything if everything around us is owned by others who tend to suppress and pressure us. It’s a shame for our future son or daughters ( god willing ), born in Malaysia, soon discover that the hippiest and liveliest hot land plots around KLCC were to belong to some Bruce, Jack or Richards. 

By now, we began to reflect ourselves “would it be unfair to reject reality? “.

No doubt, the concept of Darwinism, where only the fittest survives is a natural law which applies to every human. Darwin himself an agnostic man whose genius and theory turned into a controversy, sending the science world into a storming debate roundtable. In Malaysia, his science philosophy has been politicized. As far as I personally see, certain group who are heeding this nation to become an ecosystem manifested by the fittest. Does an agnostic man know God created humans with flaw, weakness and dark sides? Lucky, we are supplied with brain tissue to think hard and overcome these human weakness. Or else, the social Darwinism kicks in and the sight of dog eat dog is something unruly in this civilized generation.

 In this competitive world where Dubai businessmen can easily purchase the Great Wall of China or acquire English football clubs in a swift, with daring intention of buying a plethora of superstar players. Things can become real unfair. Its about time when ‘affirmative action’ becomes necessary. Admit it, we are never a neo-colonized nation like Australia or United States where the original/aborigines had been driven out and strayed off from mainstream citizenry. We are blessed with the multiracial atmosphere. For some certain pockets of people who wanted Malaysia to pave its way to become a one race nation, perhaps, they never appreciate/cherish the multicultural social fabric of Malaysia. These people with their unclear intention and expectation should be dumped somewhere else and take time to appreciate ‘variety’.

Then, there should be a mechanism to protect whatever kepentingan ( interest ) that is vital for short, medium and long period. 

Pak Samad is a journalist. He was born in Singapore in 1924. At 21 he becomes editor for Berita Malai. Later in 1951, together with Lee Kuan Yew was amongst the founding member of PAP which offshoot/clone/mimic version existed here in Malaysia and claimed themselves the democratic party ( I fondly call them the Malaysian Malaysia Party ). Pak Samad had clash of thoughts with Kuan Yew and later left that city state to stay in Malaysia. Along the years here, a lot of things have been contributed by him. One of them includes the aquirisation of New Straits Times from the republic of Singapore.

He devised the idea that having a prominent news arm to disseminate information is vital. In times where Singapore-Malaysia relation were strenuous and the world ( at that time ) depended on established print media to get a clearer picture of what’s happening; Pak Samad no doubt has seen the advantage of ‘amplifying’ Malaysia voice to a more credible level. Nobody knew the approximate million dollar acquirisation of a single news corporation could make a significant change. Likewise the 1980’s coup of Guthrie and whole other English plantation companies that saps the blessed soil of Malaysia. Perhaps citizen of infant Malaysia was highly aware about tarred roads, piped water supply and reliable postal services. But there are 'other' things that can put nation survival into jeopardy. At the time, Utusan Malaya were spearheading the dissemination of information in Malaysia. But Utusan heavy stance of anti-colonization during the independence struggle had it labeled as ‘radical’ by some quarters. So, a neutral looking masthead needed to convince people outside Malaysia .

On the other hand, news, like an inhumane voice or ethereal convincer, penetrates to the single most individual minds. They enter homes, offices, schools and other constitution. People read news early in the morning, as it becomes like a spark plug of the logical/rationale quadrant of brain nerves. A fresh piece of crisp virgin newspaper has become somewhat an appeal to turn people on. Newspaper is the first and foremost.

1976 was Pak Samad darkest hours when he got to prison. Which incidentally falls on Tun Hussein Onn tenure as prime minister. There must have been some sort of matter which made the then-PM had him into detention. I still had to find out.  

Pak Samad became somewhat an instrument to counter any media salvos launched by Singapore towards us. By 1981, when the then prime minister Dr.Mahathir stepped up as a prime minister, he saw the huge potential of Pak Samad as someone with the capabilities and experience to apprehend the city state nerve warfare changing tactics and stratagem. He had him released from detention and offered post as editorial advisor of NSTP ( New Straits Times press ). It all worked brilliantly as Pak Samad himself held the mastery of journalism at the fingertips of both his hands; which by the time accounted around 40years of specialized skill. Ultimately, Pak Samad mahaguru was Abdul Rahim Kajai, the intelligentsia of pre-independence Malaya which directly joined the struggle towards independence through nationalistic-fuelled poetry and illicitly released written works.

True, pen is mightier than sword. And an organized info dissemination arm becomes a highly disciplined arsenal of mighty pen. 

Pak Samad should become the inspiration for the rest of us. The young ones. He had this strong spirit of ‘biar jasa jadi kenangan’ ( lest the deed be remembered ). A man who never bother if his name never emblazoned or carved on young minds of people like mine. He do whatever he needs to do. When he finally departed, it’s the things that he has done that reflected who he is. No image needed on his news column, the words tells it all. And I carried on to be fascinated by this man whom survived the kicking and pushing of reality, which deeds continued to live on.  

Al-fatihah. Tan Sri Abdul Samad Ismail ( 1924 – 2008 )

The Mysticus

The current hysteria that swept the school kids had people like me wonder, does the spirits/jins and ghosts goes marauding according to seasons?

Downtown KL, a club with gyrating bodies dancing and prancing are filled with smell of cigarettes and booze. Amidst the rapid beats and body-shaking house beat, a young 20 something Malay girl took a slow sip of alcoholic beverage with intention not to get very drunk or else someone car interior would be spilled with vomit. Occasionally, smoking a stick of freshly lit cigarette. Barely touching the edge of lips to achieve that ‘carburetor’ smoke and air mixture. Exhale into the air as moment past it disappears into thin air. A man walked up the aisle and offered drink; perhaps a better, expensive and classier variant of booze to excite the 20 something girl about the meaning of taste. A simple chat started and the man had visions of whats next, ultimately he charted his journey through the night as a wild suave stud ending messily on a sea of blankets next morning bare naked. Perhaps, a simple contact trade will do if magic does not happen as expected.

A Malay girl somewhere in a small town in Pahang sits in front of the television while doing her homework recently given by her add maths cikgu Roziah. Question is quite tough and she keeps scratching her neck. She looks on at the iron board that sits near the television. A kain tudung ( veil ) has yet to be iron out to get rid of the wrinkles for sekolah. Still, she is stuck with the add math single most mind boggling question which failure to answer might land her in danger zone if cikgu calls her forward.

Ayah is busy reading through the newspaper with headlines about Anwar and his big win. Nah. Politics never capture a chunk of her brain quadrants. Emak is busy cleaning the clothes to be hung early in the morning tomorrow. A sense of loneliness is felt. But yet, the television is turned on and playing hantu serial. All images of long haired creature inside a white veil and green eyed biawak-like humanoid make the basis of these hantu serial drama. Ah. Its something that captured every quadrant of this girl brain quadrant. She then paid attention to the drama hantu.

Simple imagination takes place. She wonder what jampi/mantra will her dad cast if a green-eyed toyol encroached into her house through the front door? Because ayah seats near the door. And the door is wide opened to let the wind in.To cool interior. Her imagination extended to kilometers away outside of her door. Reminiscence of how her geography teacher told that Pahang is rich with timber. The jungle outside there sort of become a kingdom for all sorts type of ghost, jin and spirits than wander amongst themselves.

Downtown KL, the kingdom that a sweet petite 20something girl wander were filled with bright neons and bursts of loud laugh of fellow girls which had their partners visiting clubs, pubs and bistros. She made a stop to a mamak stall with her mates. She scratches because she is sweating. Of course, she did dance for a couple of minutes recently with that unknown guy. But, his suave confidence saw attempts of him landing his palm in few ticklish and sensitive areas. She is not in the mood, so she politely pulled out. The girl seating opposite keeps telling about the bitchy is her housemate. She tells about which shop to get good dresses. She tells about the cocktail parties, and whom is invited or associated.

Can I assume the hysteria sweep is just the collective-belief atmosphere that influences them?

Back in the Pahang smalltown, ayah started his Honda Petak. The engine started abruptly, moments, it sounded like the engine might gone dead. Thin white smoke coming out of the exhaust. No helmet is worn since the school is situated a few kilometers. No JPJ would want to conduct an operation as its still early in the morning. They would probably be busy humping their wives or enjoying teh-o-kaw with two half-boiled eggs. Emak, as expected, are carefully hanging the clothes which she manually washed last night. Water can still seen dripping onto the earth. Sun has not fully revealed itself. The grass is thickly covered with embun – or dew. It left a trail as ayah motorcycle went on top of it.

As ayah went through the kampong road, the girl adjusted her tudung, so that it would not fluff too hard. Luckily she managed to iron it, but the add math sum is still left in limbo. She had to find her smarter classmates to sort things out before double-period add maths come after recess. As ayah Honda petak passes through a thick jungle and improperly managed bushy FELDA lot on the right, with hill backdrop things begins to get a little gloomy. The girl remember the drama hantu which long haired in white cloth would partially reveal the face behind the old trees. Fear begins to grip. A loose grip because her worries is still focused on the unsettled Add Math sum. Cikgu Roziah will sure get mad.

Morning in Klang Valley, the 20something Malay girl start to get out of bed. She had to get to college. Media studies class will begin in matter of minutes. Mass communication is what she always wanted to do. The expressway are really busy with vehicles lining up to get their tolls paid, she can see it through her apartment bay window. She is worried about the clothes which she is going to wear. A pair of heels which she bought last week was not opened yet as she finds no matching clothes. She felt lazy, but she must go to her college. She noticed her saliva still had that booze smell. SMS inbox were filled with messages inviting her to check out new clubs,bistro or just simple hanging out spot. Mr.Suave which bravely laid a few of his fingers on her petite curves last night had send a message too. Two actually. She honestly felt not in the mood to give it a ‘go’.

The Honda Petak arrives safely infront of sekolah. She kissed her dad hands and proceed to the school compound. She quickly enters the class although there is merely only 10 minutes before the assembly bell rings. Like mentioned earlier, the add maths sum bothered her. She needs to sort it out before Cikgu Roziah stepped into the classroom. Inside the classroom, she met Latifah. Her ayah is a rubber tapper and emak is a nasi-lemak and kuih-kuaci maker cum seller. Latifah seems to partially complete the add maths sum. She proceeded to copy her work. At least cikgu roziah might realize her effort. Latifah is then joined with Syahirah and Rohaizatul. They talked about the breeze that moved branches visible from their classroom and strange sounds of bird outside. She begins to remember the dramahantu she saw yesterday. The black hairy inside white veil that barely walk but float. The green-eyed lizard like humanoid that colours matches the lush timber landscape of inner Pahang.

She begins it with precursor words like “ takut, sejuk, pelik “ ( scary, cold and unusual ). With Latifah, Syahirah and Rohaizatul that had witnessed the drama hantu the night before, they begin to think differently about the nature works surrounding them. Making things worst, Latifah uncle is a bomoh (shaman). Syahirah grandfather was a former ketua-kampung (village chief) and Rohaizatul brother-in-law is a penggali kubur (undertaker). Their work are not necessarily mystical, but their weird ‘carried-forward’ stories made these girl lend their ears with total concentration.

All of sudden, Latifah, the daughter of the rubber tapper, screamed and shouted with a strange loud pitch that broke the silence. She later fell to the school cement floor and twitching continuously. Her body bend and twisted. The other girls ran outside the classroom. Leaving the boys looking curiously at Latifah. Moments later, an English teacher came in to monitor the situation. Minutes, ustaz came in to control the situation. By this moment, the other girl had told the other school mates about the strange occurrence. A special assembly is held at the field. Students were wondering what really happened. As one person tells another, the story gets spookier. The 5th person tells about Latifah screaming like a crow and by 10^th person, Latifah screamed like a crow because his rubber-tapper ayah were interrupting the crows habitat. The other three girls were left fear as they would be next to be attacked by the ‘thing’. Because they seems to felt the same emotion moments before the freaky thing occurred: “takut, sejuk, pelik “. They all have heard what mother always said; be sure to take care of your hygiene as during PMS, ‘things’ easily comes to haunt.

Suddenly another girl screamed and dropped to the assembly field twitching. Two down, two more to go.

Klang Valley, the 20something sultry girl had gone to college and gathered at a plaza with shining tables and chair made of aluminum. One girl told about how lucky she got to hook up with this anak datuk which had splurged her with joy and materials. How this anak datuk had networks of friends consisting of artists and KL young high-profilers. While the other had just dumped his boyfriend. He is a player. The 20something then just felt the thrill and odds of finding interesting people amongst the 2 million plus Klang Valley citizen. Mr.Suave and 20something petite girl meet up somewhere and had a fun chat. Sundown and both find things lots in common. Deeper into the night, Mr.Suave got his wild imagination come through. His palm got an ‘’unlimited-unrestricted all-access’’ through 20something topographies. When Mr.Suave reaches the rubber in a pack, 20something quickly took it away and throw it outside the window. Asked why; she naughtily replied PMS just ended a week ago. She twitched too, but not because she was haunted or hysteria. Just euphoria.

Perhaps, its all in the mind ?